


Intimacy (That Doesn't Leave You Cold)

by letsgetalittleseethrough



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Elsa (Disney), F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-18 14:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21696040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letsgetalittleseethrough/pseuds/letsgetalittleseethrough
Summary: Elsa has turned her hut, after all, almost into a cave of ice.
Relationships: Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 286





	1. Chapter 1

They don't talk it about it afterwards. Honeymaren dresses, shivering, because she is not Elsa and there is only so much cold she can take. Elsa has turned her hut, after all, almost into a cave of ice. 

Honeymaren goes to leave, and then notices that Elsa is shivering too, and goes to perhaps reach out and hold her-

" _Please don't touch me-_ "

Her own voice, Elsa thinks, so small and sad. Honeymaren's eyes are sad, too, and she says, "I thought you loved me?" and it's a rhetorical question, she's asking herself if all this was all a lie, but Elsa can't have that-

"I do love you! How could I not love you?"

And there's a horrible silence, that has to be filled- "I just- physically- I can't-"

"It's not unnatural." Honeymaren is still shivering but the meekness is shrinking from her posture, the hurt coming out in a different way. "Do you think it's unnatural?"

"I know _I'm_ unnatural." 

It's hard to see anything now, Elsa having extinguished the candles with her surge of- of whatever it was that happened, and now Honeymaren is a vague shape that Elsa can look down and ignore.

( _Vague shape? She'd know her anywhere._ ) 

"No."

Elsa looks up then, after what feels like an age of staring at the ice-covered ground, because at some point making eye contact felt too unapologetic.

"No," Honeymaren says again, and she says, "It's OK. That you…" but she hasn't stepped closer and she isn't holding Elsa and maybe that's because Elsa said she didn't want that or maybe it's because Elsa has ruined the best thing that ever happened to her. 

"With no one?" Honeymaren asks, and Elsa shakes her head. 

"I'll see you in the morning," she tells her, instead of asking for the words she wants to hear, ones of unconditional love and you-are-not-broken. 

Silence. 

"I love you," Honeymaren offers, and Elsa smiles in the dark, and then wrestles with saying it back: can it be true when she can't express it so... intimately?

"I love you," she says, because of course it's true. The love she feels for her goes beyond two bodies lying in the dark. 

And then Honeymaren is gone.

(For the night and not forever, for the night and not forever, for the night and not…)

  
 _Our love will survive this_ , Elsa thinks, just before she sinks into the bad sort of sleep. 


	2. Chapter 2

"Why must you shoot her such sad glances? Why can't you talk with her?"

Elsa looked over to Yelana, who must have seen something in her gaze, for she said next, "I apologise. It is between you and her. However, I have faith that, between you, you will work it out."

"What if it's not a problem with us? What if it's a problem with me?"

Yelana did not let her look away. "I know you love her. Whatever this issue is- it will resolve."

_ But I can't be fixed, _ Elsa thought bitterly.  _ I tried, and… _

And Honeymaren's "No" is steadfast when Elsa enters her hut after a day of avoiding her and utters the words, "We can try again."

"It's obvious that you don't want this."

Elsa shrinks away from the bite in her words, real or imagined, it's all the same. 

"Love manifests in different ways," Honeymaren says then, and Elsa looks at her and can do nothing else. "Ours- it won't be physical. It doesn't have to be." She smiles at Elsa. "It doesn't have to be. I love you?"

"I love you," Elsa replies, and they embrace in the dark, and Elsa is crying and Honeymaren is wiping her tears and saying "I love you" and Elsa hopes she'll never ever stop- 

\---

Sometimes Honeymaren looks at her  _ like that _ , but it doesn't scare Elsa anymore, as it doesn't go beyond what Honeymaren can't help - Elsa supposes it's flattering, to be desired. And it comes from a place of love. 

Sometimes Anna makes the odd joke about "all the fun they must be having", and eventually it builds up in Elsa until she has to tell her sister - and Anna couldn't care less. She's great like that.

Life is currently great like that, Elsa thinks one night, Honeymaren asleep beside her. She's come so far, and how much further can she go? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something a bit happier! :))


	3. Chapter 3

“Is the whole of Arendelle here?” Honeymaren asks, her voice light, like she’s joking, but her face betrays genuine wonderment as she looks around at the packed church, the same expression she’d worn noticing the citizens they’d seen lining the streets as they entered it. 

“Anna is a great Queen,” Elsa replies, smiling. “No one would want to miss this.”

Anna makes it about three words into her vows before the tears start to flow. Kristoff soon follows. 

Elsa doesn’t know when she starts crying, but she does know that Honeymaren takes her hand and whispers, “That could be us.”

And Elsa had never dared to hope, but now? She does.

\--- 

_Dear Elsa,_

_I’m saying “My husband” at every opportunity - no news here, except to say that I’ve been so happy!_

_Your married sister, Anna._

Elsa smiles, passing the note onto Honeymaren, who grins back. “It was quite the ceremony!” she says. “You should see one of ours, Elsa. I haven't been to a Northuldran wedding in years.”

There's something unspoken in her words, like a promise or a declaration, and Elsa moves closer to her, putting her head on Honeymaren’s shoulder. “Tell me - about your wedding traditions?”

Honeymaren’s smile is warm. “Well, I bet yours don’t involve reindeer? I can’t tell you all of them - I want to surprise you!”

After a stunned silence, Elsa manages to get out an “Oh” that sounds mostly like a gasp. 

“...Did I just ruin the surprise? I didn’t mean that the time was right, now, I just-”

Elsa shushes her with a kiss.

\---

_One Year Later_

“Sven!” Kristoff calls. “It was just supposed to be three times, buddy! Sorry about him.”

Elsa comes out of her tent. “Kristoff?”

Sven’s looking sheepish, Kristoff’s grinning awkwardly, and Honeymaren’s frozen to the spot.

“We can do over?” Kristoff offers. 

Honeymaren shakes her head. “Elsa,” she says. 

Elsa’s taking in the reindeer surrounding her tent. Something of an old conversation is drifting back to her. If reindeer circle a woman’s tent three times, it means-

She grabs Kristoff’s sled from where it’s lying next to him and ties Sven to it. “I accept!”

Honeymaren blinks. Kristoff cheers.

“Will you do me the honour of being my wife?” Honeymaren asks, stepping closer. “I mean - I’m pretty certain, but I can’t skip asking-”

“Always,” Elsa replies, and only then, due to her bursting into tears, does she notice Anna behind her.

“I love weddings!” Anna exclaims.

“That’s good!” Honeymaren jokes, “because ours last for three days!”

“Three days of amazingness!” Anna shouts, and they all laugh. 

_I never would have dreamed of this,_ Elsa thinks, _and here I am._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got my information about "Northuldran" weddings by reading about the Sami people of Norway, whom the Northuldra are based on! :))


	4. Chapter 4

"What d'ya say to sneaking off, just for 5 minutes?"

"Sneaking off from our own wedding?" Elsa brushed a stray strand of hair back behind Honeymaren's ear. "I thought you'd never ask!"

"I didn't expect the sled full of chocolate cake," Honeymaren said later, as they lay on the beach, too exhausted to care about the sand on their dresses. "We'll still be eating it for weeks- _what?_ "

"More like 'days'," Elsa replied, finally controlling her laughter. She took Honeymaren's hand, her fingers tracing over the new ring there. "I think you forget just how much I love chocolate." There was a pause. "Though I suppose right now I'm not sure I want to see it again until March…"

"Whatever my wife wishes."

"Hearing you say that - it'll never get old."

Honeymaren put her head on Elsa's shoulder. "Oh yeah? Then how about this: I love you."

The words slipped out easily as breathing: "I love you too."

They lay there watching the waves in happy silence, until the huffing and puffing of Anna running up the beach roused them from each other's peaceful company.

"Dancing!" Anna exclaimed. "More dancing! And we can't have the brides not dancing _at their own wedding_!"

Elsa and Honeymaren winced in unison. There had already been _so much_ dancing, even for two people who usually enjoyed it. 

"Can I have a nap first?" Honeymaren joked.

Elsa joined in, "Make that two naps?"

Anna gave her sister that look that said _oh no you don't…_

" _You_ get three days of food and drink and dancing, which might be tiring," she said, "but at least the whole of Arendelle didn't watch you almost trip over your new husband's feet!"

Honeymaren craned her neck, looking around. "I can't see my husband. Elsa, did you invite him to the wedding?"

Anna groaned, and Elsa felt a need to step in. "The cake was wonderful," she said. "I hope you didn't stay up too late baking?"

At Anna's surprised look, she couldn't help but laugh. "Anna - your dress has flour on it."

Her sister struck a casual pose. "It was nothing - Kristoff was a great taste-tester." She poked Elsa in the shoulder. " _C'mon_."

Elsa got to her feet, then (unnecessarily) helped Honeymaren up. "Hi. Let's go back to the party?"

"I love you."

Anna squealed next to them.

\---

"How did you make it through _your_ wedding?"

"Hey!" Kristoff protested, but had to follow that up with a "Sorry" when he, once again, stepped on Honeymaren's toes. "OK - Anna got the best dance teacher in Arendelle. And I practised so much I was practically dancing in my sleep. But then more important information came along, like Anna's favourite way to be woken up in the morning, and all that unnecessary dancin- Sorry!... dancing stuff just kinda disappeared from my brain. Sven remembers it all though, don't you, buddy?"

They looked over to Sven stomping to the beat of the Northuldra music.

"To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love," Olaf said, walking by them. "I swear I read that somewhere…"

"Anna- you're spinning me too fas-"

Kristoff and Honeymaren looked over at the pile of limbs that was Arendelle's former and current queens.

"Sorry," Anna groaned, lifting her face from the dirt. "I got a little… excited."

"It _is_ a _very_ exciting occasion," Yelana said, looking over at Honeymaren with affectionate eyes. "We are all very happy for you both."

  
  


Honeymaren turned round at a tap on the shoulder. "Hey, Sis," Ryder said, exaggeratedly bowing, "will you be challenged to a dance-off?"

She looked over at Kristoff helping Anna and Elsa to their feet. "I'm not sure you'll survive, Dear Brother."

"I'm not sure _I_ survived," she whispered later to Elsa, as they opened gifts from tribespeople and Arendelleians alike. 

"I'll nurse you back to health," Elsa said. "Probably."

Honeymaren faked a hurt gasp. "What a way to start off married life!"

\---

  
  


At last, the three days of celebrations ended, and night had fallen. Honeymaren was in Elsa's arms, after they'd seen away the sunset with soft words and kisses.

This, Elsa thought, was the _good_ kind of intimacy, the type she felt she could never have enough of.

The type that left her feeling _warm._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan on writing more ace!Elsa in the future, so if anyone has anything they'd like to see me write please comment or find me on Tumblr (staywithmetiltheend) :))
> 
> Thank you for all the support with this story!


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